Weightloss

So one side effect from eating for my MS is that you loose weight.

I thought it would stabilize once i started getting used to what I can and can't eat, but I'm still plummeting. I'm not complaining though ;-)!

Ha.. so I'm opening up to you guys now!

I am ca 181 cm tall (yes I am a Swedish giant) and about a year ago I weighed approximately 75 kg. Which isn't loads, and I had just had a baby 6 months prior. But I was on a trip with my sisters and thanks to their own weight goals(or should I say HEALTH goals) I started joining them in their quest. I started taking long walks (like 10 km) daily, and started watching what I ate. And I lost about 6 kg over the course of 6 months. So I was down to 69 kg which I was super chuffed with. I was also happy with how long it took, I was changing food habits and it showed on the scales and in my clothes.

But then I couldn't get any further. And I felt like I had another 3 kg to loose to get back to my former jeans. But I wasn't complaining. I was quite happy with the weight i had lost and how much more healthy I felt. 


SO
If I felt healthy then, GUESS what I feel now?!?!? A health FREAK is what!!! ;-D

I'm now down to 66 kg and the thought that I will never again yoyo in levels of healthiness is a great feeling. AND THATS THANKS TO EATING FOR MY HEALTH AND NOT TO LOOSE WEIGHT.... sorry for shouting ;-)... But it's quite an important difference. I'm no longer body conscious out of a weight perspective because it's not important the way my health is. I'm eating to make sure I'm getting all the nutrients my body needs. And that is huge. 

So here is my before and after pictures. The before is from maybe 4 months after my second baby. and the after was from about 2 weeks ago. and yes, a lot of weight was probably in the hair :-D!!!

So excuse the rant, but I felt like documenting that "side effect" as well as the negative ones ;-)! 

Here's to positive thinking ;-)!
-Josefine

Rough Day.

Today was a rough one (So excuse this quite negative post)

One of those days that you just wish you had so much more energy than you do.
.. where you wish everything was perfect and nothing was wrong with you!

SOooooo frustrating.

Silly old me booked an appointment for an iron infusion at the hospital for early this morning forgetting that the night before it was medicine time. And Silly old me thinks that I can get through it anyway. Just pop the kids on the train with you and once you are at the hospital you can just try and keep the kids in check while you've got a needle coming out of your arm...Then after the infusion I'd just jump right back on the train and somehow make it back in my post avonex and infusion state...

I'll be fiiiiiine... that's my motto ;-D!

Sometimes I do have to get a clue... sometimes it's not fine. 
And sometimes you even need help!
SHOCKER!! 

Today was one of those days. 

My dad picked me up and dropped me off at the hospital, where my mom then took over and helped out with the kids. I ended up not getting the infusion, but that wasn't the point.

It wasn't easy, but I got help.
I am still struggling with the idea of needing help.
That I'm vulnerable somehow.

BUT at the same time I feel that I finally have an explanation for the exhaustion and fatigue I have been feeling for such a long time. And somehow that is comforting. 

Had a long chat with my mom today about what I was finding hard, and it was nice to vent! Feel loads better emotionally, and am on the mend after my medication as well. So hopefully I'll be on top tomorrow :-)!

So yeah, I doooo have my bad days... :-)!



On a more positive note... I have the most amazing kids and husband! They fill me with so much love and they are the reason I get up in the morning! I honestly don't know how I would have coped if it wasn't for the motivation to stay strong for them. SO I am ending this post with some pictures of them. 

-Josefine

Well that was fun.... NOT!

Avonex... wow... well that was fun! 

I just had my first appointment at the hospital yesterday for them to teach me how to take my first shot of Avonex...

Now something I have to explain about myself is that I have an irrational fear of needles... so much so that when I first met my husband who happens to be diabetic, I would almost faint at the sound of him dialing up his units. Yeah THAT bad! I usually climb the walls when I have had to take bloods or take any form of injection.

With the years it has become better. 2 pregnancies helped. Also this last spout at the hospital when diagnosed with MS was a real needle fest! 

Though it is a whole different thing to have someone take your blood than you yourself putting that needle to your thigh and firing it off... oooo.... getting woozy at the thought. BUT I did it! I DID IT!!!! It took a lot of psyching and a lot of tears and a lot of shaking (my whole body was going nuts).. but I DID IT!!! Anyone who knows me will know what a big deal this is. It's HUGE! And it wasn't too bad either... (don't tell anyone I said so).. The nurse thought it was because I had been holding it to my thigh for so long the area was numb before the needle actually went in.

After a few hours of running on the high of a huge accomplishment I soon realized that this wasn't going to be fun... and it wasn't. It started with the ache in my muscles, then the headache... and last but certainly not least the fever.... Ugh... I was shivering like nobody's business and nothing could warm me up... well of course i was plenty warm according to my husband (smoking in fact) but that's not how I experienced it. 

And that was with Ibuprofen in my system...

So yeah... until next week eh?! 

Ugh...

Let's hope that the side effects only last the first 6 months...

-Josefine

..And so it starts!

Hi,
I am totally new to this whole thing.. how new you ask? Weeeell I got my diagnosis 4 days ago. Yeah, THAT new. Many of you who read this who have had it for many years will probably stop reading now and look for something else to read concerning MS ;-). What I do feel that I can offer with this blog is my zest for life. I intend to eat healthy (food that is good for people with MS) and exercise. Most of all however I intend to live life to the fullest everyday. 

As I am writing this I am laying down on the couch from my recent spinal tap. Yupp. Anyone who has had one will know that it's a rough one. My head is pounding so much it feels like its ready to explode. My diagnosis is so new that they are still in the process of ruling out any other neurological diseases. 

So Thursday the 14th of March 2014 I was standing in the kitchen making the kids some food when I noticed a very weird sensation on my back. Every time I moved my blouse did not feel as it should against my skin. It felt tingly and slightly less at the same time. Being busy I didn't have much time to think about it. Throughout the day I noticed the soles of my feet, while putting my hair in a ponytail I noticed the back of my head having that same odd loss of sensation. looking these symptoms up on google (as you do) I came to the conclusion that I must have some vitamin and mineral deficiency, more specifically B12 and Magnesium. So I asked my husband to pick me up some supplements on the way home from work.

Me and my husband an hour or so into 2014!

That night, after dinner I started feeling a cold coming on. Weakness, fever, achy joints and tiredness. This reassured me somehow. It was when the cold symptoms went away on Sunday the 17th of march and instead a very extreme dizziness and nausea took over. At one point during the day I decided that I was being lazy and thought it would be a GREAT idea to tackle some dishes. Weak as I was I made my way downstairs and started unloading the dishwasher. Halfway through ny nausea took over and it wasn't a pretty sight! So from then on I laid down and stayed that way. Slowly but surely it escalated from not being able to stand because of dizziness and nausea to not being able to SIT, then eventually by Tuesday the 19th of march, not being able to turn around in my bed without throwing up. 

Okay, so now you are probably wondering what the heck, why didn't she just call for an ambulance? For me calling an ambulance is a LAAAAST resort. On the Monday I did go to the doctor in our village, where they took bloods and thought that my symptoms were very odd. I managed to throw up on arrival from the strain of getting there and I probably looked a right mess. But I did get the impression they thought I was a bit cuckoo. I think they thought I was sick with the flu and the rest was just in my head.

So Tuesday evening the 19th of march my husband had had enough. He called the ambulance. Something was majorly wrong with me and it wasn't getting any better. While on the phone with them he was asked if an ambulance was really necessary as my symptoms sounded much like I had the flu. And even after reassuring him that I know what a flu feels like and that this was most definitely NOT it, he would only put me on a late priority and he wasn't happy about it.

My 30th birthday!

The ride into the hospital was torture. Every bump in the road, every turn, and every speed change made me more and more dizzy and nauseous. And to make a long story short... it wasn't pretty ;-). The next couple of days were a blur, as they often are in hospitals. I remember being taken to the ear and infections department because they initially suspected my dizziness to have something to do with my ears. After a lot of cleaning out my ears(gross) and a lot of testing if my ears they finally ruled out anything to do with their department. 

They then sent me for an MRI. Anyone who has been diagnosed with MS will probably have had one and will probably know what they found on mine. Lesions. A number of lesions in my brain. Four to be exact, of which one was active. I was still in the Ear and infections department at this point, and the person who told me the results was one of the doctors who had been dealing with me up until that point. He told me that he had only glanced at my results and didn't know if he was doing the right thing by telling me since he wasn't an expert in neurology, but he wanted me to be prepared for when a neurologist came down to tell me officially. It was in MY eyes one of the best things that could have happened. From the moment he told me and in the following hour until the neurologist came, I had time to process and think and had many questions ready for him when he came. I was also able to remember everything that we talked about MS, instead of being clouded by grief and chock. I had also spoken to my husband and crying with him, but also figuring out my plan of attack. My way of dealing with it all. Since then I have expected a wave of extreme grief. I have expected to cry myself to sleep, and for some reason that has not come. All I feel is motivation and dare I say excitement to figure this out. By this I mean my life and how to best live so that my MS does not and will not affect me negatively. I feel like I went through the stages of grief within moments and acceptance has stayed with me since then. Even after hours of research and Googling I still feel encouraged. Even after seeing and reading about all the many ways this awful disease has affected so many people. I am motivated and intend to share my life, research and progress with you here. I would also love your input and love to hear your experiences. 

I love working with kids!

So to summerize my initial episode, or my first noticed one, since my MRI showed I had had a number of previous episodes without knowing about it. My symptoms included loss of sensation on the soles of my feet, on my but, back, back of my head and ears. I also experienced muscle weakness, dizziness and nausea. For other common MS symptoms go to wikipedia here.

So here I am. Laying on the couch, dealing with my kids as best I can from a vertical position, and writing this.
Looking forward to my spinal fluid to normalize and to get the energy to start executing all my new plans for food and exercise. 

Thanks for reading,
Josefine